Take My Hand Hold It Tight
by Aleekiins
Summary: Alfred left when Arthur needed him the most. Now he's back and Arthur wants to hate him, but he can't. He really can't  AU


**Title:** Take my hand; Hold it tight.  
><strong>Author:<strong> Moomoochama  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Arthur, Alfred, Oc  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Themes:<strong> Some Angst.  
><strong>Warning:<strong> Past!Mpreg, Baby!Oc  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Alfred left when Arthur needed him the most. Now he's back and Arthur wants to hate him, but he can't. He really can't. AU

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><p>"Arthur, I…"<br>"No… No No No. I can't… I just can't deal with you now Alfred, please get off my porch."  
>Green eyes searched the face in front of him, questions clouding in his mind, swimming behind his tired eyes. He could not do this now, Not when the baby was going to wake up soon, Not when he needed to be fed and changed and just… Not ever.<p>

"I'm so sorry.." Came the whispered reply. "Please just listen to me.."

"Listen to you say what? You left, Alfred. You left, and you weren't there when he was born, and now you want to talk to me? I don't have time to do this..."

Arthur clenched his hand around the side of the door he was leaning on, he didn't want to look at him. He knew that if he did, if he stared for too long he'd see what was really there. He'd see a scared teenager. He'd see his hero, the person whom he loved the most in the world, broken and frightened.  
>He desperately wanted to see a monster of a man standing in front of him. But he knew if he looked, he wouldn't see that at all.<p>

He knew why Alfred did it. Why he left… He didn't want to understand it as much as he did, or sympathize at all. But he couldn't help it.  
>Alfred was only 18, a senior in high school, caption of the football team when Arthur became pregnant. Arthur was 22, in university and for heavens sake should not have been in a relationship with someone who was still in high school, much less having unprotected sex. But he didn't care. He'd known Alfred since he was 16, and he'd tell anyone who asked, that Alfred was a big, clumsy, loud, obnoxious dork. But in reality, he was in love with him from the first time they spoke.<p>

So yes, He knew why Alfred ran away. Because Alfred was still a child himself, and he in no means wanted a baby. But that didn't make it hurt less. It didn't make the fact that he wasn't there when their son was born any better. That had been both the worst and best day of his life.  
>He's sad for Alfred sometimes. He's sad that he never got to see something they made together given life. Never got to see those big blue eyes open for the first time, or hold that tiny, tiny hand. No, Arthur got to do that alone, It's things like that which can't be rewound. He always told himself that Alfred was missing out on so much, and it was true.<p>

The shrill gasps and sudden cries of an infant startled them both. Als eyes widened a bit, as if he forgot the fact that his son lived in the house as well.

"Can I at least see him?" Alfred asked, eyes hopeful, hands clenching at his sides.  
>Arthur finally looked up, and stared at him for a long while, the baby crying in the background. Arthur sighed, and moved from in front of the door.<p>

"I can't deny you that.." He turned on his heel, assuring himself that Alfred knew how to close the door behind him, and started up the stairs. He was nervous though, what if Alfred didn't like the baby, or didn't hold him properly or… He shook his head, clearing the thoughts. His baby was the fucking best baby in the world, of course Alfred would like him. He is the father after all.

Arthur opened the door to the nursery slowly, peeking in and seeing his tiny boy standing, gripping the bars of his crib, little arms shaking from the difficulty of pulling himself up. Arthur smiled, gasping happily at him and getting a gummy smile and happy squeal in return. Those big blue eyes looked up at him as he got near, one arm reaching up, while the other kept him balanced.

"Hello my boy, did you have a nice nap?" Arthur coo'd, picking him up and holding the baby on his hip, he kissed his soft, chubby cheek, then turned to see Al leaning against the nursery door.  
>It was only for a second, and maybe just Arthurs imagination of what it could be like if Alfred had stayed, but he thought, or more so maybe caught of glimpse of a soft, adoring smile on the blonds lips.<p>

Arthur swallowed, shifting the baby and looking at Al.

"Kaleb, this is your daddy…" He said softly, a small smile on his own lips.

"Alfred, this is your son, Kaleb Jones Kirkland. Jones is his middle name by the way, since you weren't there to sign the documents he has my last name…"

Alfred nodded, starring, almost in awe, at the small body in Arthurs arms.  
>"Wow…" Was the only breathy reply he got. Arthur crossed the small room, holding the baby out to Al.<p>

"Hold him, here you go…" Arthur watched as the other man took his son into his arms, holding him carefully and staring at that tiny face, so similar to his own. Slowly, a huge grin slide it's way across his face.

"Hey there Kaleb… I'm sorry I missed the big show." He chuckles, brushing away some of the hair from the baby's face.

As soon as Arthur saw that grin, he got dizzy. It was just a reminder that he couldn't do this. As much as he wanted to hate Al for leaving him, and never speak to him again, he knew he couldn't. And now, looking at Alfred… watching him with his son and that smile across his face… Arthur thinks he has never been more in love with him.

The smaller man went to sit on the rocking chair in the corner of the room, so tempted to look and watch them but his heart hurt too much. He wanted nothing more than for Alfred to come over to him, pull him up and kiss him softly. Wanted nothing more than to cuddle with him, be wrapped in those arms again, to make love… And he didn't know if he was ever going to get that, or if only time would tell but it hurt too much right now. He was torn. As far as he knew, Alfred didn't deserve to have Kaleb. But himself… he deserved Alfred. His son was too good for a father who left him, and who may leave him again.

Arthur looked up, watching his son and his sons father on the other side of the room. Alfred was talking to Kaleb, and the baby just giggling and trying to pull off his glasses.

Arthur chuckled, standing and making his way over to them.  
>"He likes you." He stated, smiling at his baby boy, who was sitting on the changing table.<p>

"Ya think so?" Alfred replied, looking worriedly from the baby to Arthur.  
>Arthur nodded, their eyes catching and for a moment they stared at each other. The shorter blonds breath caught in his throat as he saw the message behind those baby blue eyes.<p>

_' I'm sorry… I'm an idiot, I love you.'_

And at that moment, Arthur knew what his own eyes were saying back.

_'I love you too, so much.'_

And maybe it wasn't going to happen right away. Maybe there would be fights, and tears and long talks into the middle of the night. Maybe Arthur would storm off and Alfred would chase him. Chase him because he wanted him, he wanted to be with him. And maybe Arthur wouldn't trust him for a long, long time, and the words in their eyes wouldn't be voiced for even longer. But they would try, and try, and try. Because as much and they fought, and cried. They also laughed, and smiled, and the words in their eyes were true. And eventually they'd sleep in the same bed, and Kaleb would squeal and giggle when they kissed, and they'd be happy. Happy together. And that… that was all that Arthur could ask for.

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><p><strong>A;N **I hope you enjoyed it, please remember to review ! 3


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